Jan

So many noteworthy things have been happening lately that it’s hard to keep up.

I recently found out that I lost one of my high school acquaintances to suicide. I do admit some fault of being absolutely clueless about how he got to that point, and it would be unfair of me to assume that he wasn’t talking to someone about his mental health but I feel a huge loss in my heart. I didn’t know him particularly well but I always respected him for the different perspective he had of the world and his boldness to share it.

It’s too late now. My words of affirmation were too few and far between. All I can do now is wish that I had done something differently, that there was just some way I could have known what was going on in his life. But what could I have done? The guy seemed perfectly normal; a bit odd, yes, and rather lonesome, but perfectly normal otherwise. Nothing could have tipped me off about how he was feeling or doing.

That raises a question. Is it my fault for not being able to tell how he was doing? Was it his fault for not being able to deal with it? Is it the fault of his close friends who weren’t able to help him? Is it society’s fault for putting a stigma on discussion about mental health?

“Fault” probably isn’t the right word to throw around but I’m sure it’s a little bit of everything I just mentioned. All we can do now is to try to break this stigma; to show people that it’s okay not to be in the best shape. Nobody’s perfect and the fact that we’re trying so hard to appear to be perfect is literally killing us.

 

Personified Cynicism pt. 3

You know what really grinds my gears?

Well, lots of things.

But dude, take some care to reflect on your life and how you live it.

If you’ve become complacent in any part in your life, it means that you have decided that you don’t want to get better at that part in your life anymore. Whether that decision is conscious or unconscious is extremely context-and-person-sensitive.

For some things, that’s okay. For example, I’m totally fine with bowling an average of 45.

For other things, it’s not okay at all. Like the way you look down at people or are completely oblivious to how they’re reacting to you. And if this becomes enough of a problem that someone brings it up to you, it is not okay. If more than one person brings it up to you, it is definitely not okay. Do something about it. Fix yourself. Forget that “I’m independent and nobody can tell me how to live my life” idealism. There’s something called basic human decency.

And if you can’t tell which areas of your life have devolved into complacency, then think about it instead of filling your life with inane garbage. Or just ask your close friends. If your friends don’t have an answer for you, then they’re having the same problem you are. Get new ones.

This is as much a reminder to myself as it is a message to you.