here without you

I’m leaving for Mexico tomorrow.
I’m packing right now.
I’m really excited, but I don’t know.
How it’ll go, I mean.
How I’ll do.
What’s going to happen to me while I’m gone.
It’s obvious that changes will happen, but I’m just not sure what.

I hope that what I want to happen will happen.
Not to say that I’m using this mission trip as a spiritual gas station, but…
I’m using this mission trip as a spiritual gas station.

I didn’t even pray about going on this trip.
“Church shouldn’t be a pit stop. It should be a party.”
Well, I treat it like a party, but like a party without a purpose.
This is a problem.


Blog post style influenced by KL.



Perhaps men overanalyze because we think about the words we can speak and how their connotation can influence the reaction in the other person.

Perhaps women aren’t the same.

Perhaps women just say things the way they want to say them, while men are stuck there imagining what they possibly could have meant–even if the woman didn’t mean anything at all.

Perhaps this is why I have such a hard time communicating with women on a personal level.

Perhaps I’m not the only one.


I was playing Red Dead Redemption a few hours ago when I realized something:

Most storylines of video games, books and movies follow the same plot: revenge.

They all follow the story of one main character, usually a protagonist, who seeks revenge or wants to avenge a certain people. The antagonist is usually someone who has done something to harm or has potential to harm the protagonist and / or his people. Harry Potter. The Lord of the RingsCall of DutyHalo. All these things follow the same generic storyline.

This can probably be called the “Western Plot.”

The “Eastern Plot” is a bit different. Just watch a Korean drama and you will find one.

Of course, movies made in the West aren’t just limited to the “Western Plot,” and vice versa. There are plenty of Kung Fu movies about how the antagonist has killed the protagonist’s family or parents and left him for dead, being the one grave mistake he made.

But hey. These are just observations. Nothing to think about anything.


I’ve been trying to come up with a way to describe all my passions in one word. And I’ve finally thought of it: play. I love to play.

All right, I love to play video games. I won’t lie. But the other thing I like to do is play music. I “love” music.

Well. People say that they love music. But I don’t think I can say the same. You see, to love, to love music, you have to love all of it. Or else you don’t love music. You just love some of it. This includes but isn’t limited to Justin Black, Rebecca Bieber, the erhu and even Opera.

You can’t love music without understanding it. And you can’t understand any music unless you listen to it using the perspective of the person or people who created it. Just because you listen to and enjoy a piece of music doesn’t mean you understand it.

I Pledge Allegiance

College people at my church (who have been paying attention, at least) should know the theme of the sermon series. “I Pledge Allegiance.” It’s all about how our independence isn’t actually independent; but is rather in dependence of something.” Then there’s that tag: “A great thing that turns into an ultimate becomes a mess of things.”

Well, Elise and I were talking. Isn’t this pretty much what girls do with their looks? They’re always obsessed over what they look like, and when they look better, they feel a bit better, but eventually they become dissatisfied with the way they look and try to alter themselves to make themselves look even better.

I mean, come on, guys. I don’t know any girls who absolutely NEED make-up. When I said this to Elise, she said, “I do. But it’s only because they wear make-up so often, that when I see them without it, it’s like shocking.” Well, yeah. And from what I hear, girls can’t stop using make-up either.  It’s become an addiction. A make-up addiction. The best way to quit is never to start.

It just irritates me that girls can’t be happy about the way they look. I don’t know why it irritates me, but it just does.


I’m sure you’ve all heard the poem by Robert Frost entitled, “The Road Not Taken.” If not, it’s a poem about how even though the road less traveled may be unpaved and scary, the benefits of taking the road are very rewarding. Figuratively, of course.

Well, today I took the road not taken. Literally. I thought I was going to die.

I was out with a friend at 92nd St park today. We walked around, through the park and down the trails. We reached a point that I remembered. There was a part of the road that went down back behind the library. On our third trip around the park (it was a fun trip), she has to go and  I, feeling a little adventurous, decide to take the path that goes down to the apartments. Not knowing exactly where I am or how to get out, I make random guesses on turns and make it out. I realize I’m back near the 92nd street park (I don’t know why that surprised me).

From there, I go down 92nd street. I walk until I see a familiar neighborhood, and walk in. All the way to the very end. I see a view and decide to take a picture, posting it to Facebook.

I caption it, “Nice view. Also, I’m lost.”

Of course, I wasn’t really lost, but I was kind of just wandering around the neighborhood. I quickly get bored and make my way back to 92nd street.

When I get back, I decide that I want to go take the back trails to the library to see how long it takes. This is about 4:50. I walk along the route, along a familiar path, where I come to a 5-way fork. There’s a family hiking there, going in the opposite direction, coming from across the bridge on the right. I figure that they’re coming from around the library and choose to cross the bridge.

Big mistake.

It went along fine for a while, but I must have missed a turn somewhere because the width of the trail diminished rapidly. What was left of the trail became mud and fallen logs. I must have walked through five bogs. Not wanting to turn back, I press on foward for what seems like forever. The trail becomes narrow and steep, sloping downward to my left. I slip a great deal of times but never fall, but am still shaken to the point where I wonder if I’m going to make it out of the forest alive. But I keep pressing forth, following the stream, not wanting to turn back through the mud. About an hour and a half of climbing later, I see an opening with man-planted trees and a road with a large bend in it, sloping downward. I follow the road down, looking to see if there is a house that I could ask for a ride from, and I see a hint of red way off in the distance. “It can be a truck taillight,” I tell myself. I venture forth. This is what it was:

A wastewater facility. The address on the sign says I’m in Mukilteo, so I’m a bit relieved. I trace my steps back and continue up the winding hill and find myself in a neighborhood with a view.

There are a few people around but I’m too embarrased to ask for directions. The worst part is that there are more hills to climb. After what seems like forever, I find myself back on 92nd street, where the familiar neighborhood is.

And I’m pissed.

By this time, my legs and feet ache like crazy, and I’m limping. Still not wanting to stop, and having seen a water fountain in 92nd street park, I return to the park only to find a group of people from Kamiak and a water fountain that doesn’t work. I give up and continue my walk all the way to Champion. I arrive at 7:20.

Road not taken? There’s a reason.


Here’s my route:

Someone calculate how far I walked.



2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 3,700 times in 2010. That’s about 9 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 58 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 114 posts. There were 4 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 186kb.

The busiest day of the year was September 1st with 105 views. The most popular post that day was I.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were,, WordPress Dashboard,, and

Some visitors came searching, mostly for bad joke friday kisw, kisw bad joke friday, something not depressing, jason fu blog, and “from kindergarten to college, teachers prod students to achieve”.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


I September 2010


About January 2009


sometimes. August 2010


Requested topics February 2010


Today January 2010



I randomly found this in my email just now. interesting stuff.


As I lay in bed yesterday, not being able to sleep, I had the sudden urge to write up a blog post, so I opened up the “WordPress” app on my phone. I began to write furiously. About five giant paragraphs later, a text message comes in, and as I switch over to the messages, Advanced Task Killer closes the WordPress app.. and I lose all progress. YAY. So here is my attempt to re-write what I lost yesterday.

It’s been a month since I graduated. Actually, over a month. This is stupid. It hasn’t hit me that I’ve graduated or anything. It didn’t hit me that I went to Italy until after I came back. When I went to Spain, I kept saying aloud that I was there in Spain. I probably have to keep saying that I graduated. I graduated. I graduated. I graduated. Nope, it still hasn’t hit me.

Recently I’ve been thinking of things like… what to do when my future wife is pregnant. There are many problems with this. For one, I don’t know if I’m going to have kids. Two, I don’t even know if I’m going to get married. Three, there’s a possibility that I’ll be single for the rest of my life. Why would I be thinking about stuff like this? I have no answer for this. But it’s a question that needs to be addressed.

This is the part where my thoughts break down into random stuff.

Why doesn’t my mom understand that it’s summer after senior year? This is my last summer to do stuff. And she’s not letting me do anything. I want to stay up past 6 again. 😦

–I wrote ↑ that about two days ago.–

Music theory restarted my  music phases again. I started with classical music, moved to jazz, then techno, 90’s pop, and now I’m back into Audioslave / Pearl Jam. Is good stuff. It’s interesting listening to the progression of music and how people have learned to break the rules of the CPP over the decades. There was once when I heard parallel octaves, and it didn’t sound so bad. One Pearl Jam song is two chords. (I think it’s I-vi-I-vi…) Techno music follows the standard I-vi-IV-V progression. It’s all interesting stuff. And now I feel like a music nerd.

I was out at Henry’s with a group of friends the other night, which was really interesting. But the main thing is that I’ve learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be. Anybody can understand himself with enough introspection. The problem is, we spend too much time doing other things like studying. School is evil. Other than that, I confuse myself. My own laziness confuses me. Stuff is so easy. Why not just do it?

The two video games I have played this summer are free. This makes me regret something. I don’t know what. I just regret it. I Dunno LOL ¯\(°_o)/¯