I just biked to church. And by “biked” I mean “rode my bike.” I’m at church right now.

So why am I writing this? Because I’m freakin’ pissed off.

Last night, after finding out that I had permission to bike here from home, I looked the route up on Google Maps on my phone. The biking route. It told me it would take an hour or so, taking little back roads that I had never traveled on before. And I trusted it.

So today I left with about three hours leeway. This is pretty much how it went.

1. Leave the house and head toward 99.
2. Disregard all pedestrian safety laws and attempt to cross five lanes of heavy traffic that are moving at approximately 50 mph. (Screw that, I said.)
3. Continue along 99 and take the first left turn at the intersection.
4. Risk your life by going down very steep hill.
5. Continue along the road where the bends are sharp and there are no sidewalks.
6. Turn right and go up big freakin’ hill and cross the bridge that goes over 525.
7. Turn left and go in direction of Alderwood mall.
8. Almost run over two babies and their dad in a baby stroller.
9. Almost get hit about six times by incompetent drivers.
10. Turn on streets where the road signs are impossible to find. (which I didn’t do)
11. Continue past the mall and turn left where Lynnwood Town Hall is.
12. Go until you can’t go any more because of construction, then U-Turn and bike to 44th. (Yes, it told me to U-Turn.)
13. Turn left onto 44th.
14. Stare at big hill in front of you.
15. Climb big hill, get stared at by corner advertisement guy who compliments you on your sunglasses as you leave.
16. Go down slight hill.
17. Bike through a car accident.
18. Almost run over old guy.
19. Try to maneuver around other biker who stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, taking all of it up.
20. Bike up three giant hills.
21. Walk up extremely steep stairs.

I don’t know how serious this sounds. But Google got my hopes up, then shot me down. Then curb-stomped me seven or eight times while I was down there.

That’s what my legs are telling me, anyway.

My mind’s telling me something different: stop trusting Google. Actually, this isn’t the first time it’s let me down. In fact, it’s not the second or third. It’s about the seventh. I don’t know why I keep trusting it.

Here’s a thought.

From this day on. I’m going to use as little of Google as possible.


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