I can’t say I had the best of days, today, but that’s really not why I’m here.
I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way about their lives, but…. it really seems like the last 16 years of my life have been a blur.
I’m in 11th grade, now. Which is really surprising, because I can still remember my first grade teacher, the general layout of the classroom and pretty much everybody who was in my class. And it only feels like yesterday that I was watching one of my friend spell “does” “deos” and another friend spell “of” with a v.
I could go on about memories, but most of them are bad and I’ve been trying ever since to supress them.
I think I’ve seen a lot in my 16 years. Good people I’ll never see again. Bad people I have to see every day. I’ve been made fun of about my height. My weight. My last name. My ethnicity. My intellectual level. You know, stuff I can’t change.
I can’t say, either, that I’ve necessarily led a good life, since I have no other life to base it on. But like anyone else, I have my regrets.
I regret not caring about my grades in Freshman and Sophomore year. I regret not sleeping earlier. I regret this and that.
These regrets are affecting my life so much that sometimes I just want to start over.
And starting over begins with ending.
I think you can tell where I’m going with this.
But today, I realized that many things are out of my control. There are many things that I have to be flexible about. Which, honestly, includes about 85% of the things in my life.
I’ll leave you with a few thoughts.
How much is REALLY in your control? Do you really have control of it?